Critical Decision

Yesterday I made a critical decision that most men in Iraq need to make. It wasn’t easy. I had to turn my back on a long term relationship that I had vowed to honor. But I think the time was right for both of us.

Yesterday, I switched from my beloved shoulder holster to a hip holster for my 9mm pistol.

Now you may find this decision to be less than important. But I can assure you that there is nothing more critical for a man than how he carries his weapon.

This decision is as critical to a man as: boxers or briefs, paper or plastic, Betty or Veronica.

For over a decade, since I first crossed the Sava River into Bosnia, I have been holstering my sidearm in a shoulder holster. This allowed me to carry my gun just below my left shoulder as it was held secured by a strap that crisscrossed around my back.

Sure it had some drawbacks. It was a bit restricting and pulled on me and at times I had to reach through my garments to reposition it.

But my shoulder holster created a sac that hung down from me (like an appendage) which made my gun feel secure. It was always just in reach, ready for me to cup with my hand, just so I could ensure that it was “still there”.

I love being a man.

Well, all that need for security seemed to vanish yesterday when I came across a hip holster that was not being used. Upon closer inspection, I could not find anything wrong with it.

I liked the look of it.

I like the condition it was in.

Best of all, it was free!

That last part really made my Lockard DNA start pumping.

The owner of the hip holster has allowed me to take it for a test drive, and to be honest with you, I don’t think I’m ever giving it back.

The moment I strapped it to me leg, I felt like….like….like a GUNSLINGER!

Honestly, look at me. Shouldn’t I be walking through the doors of some dusty saloon and “amble” my way up to the bar as I look for some “desperate hombre”?

And yes, I have found myself standing in front of the mirror practicing my quick draw.

Once I shed myself from the restricting shoulder holster, I felt as liberated as a granola eating Berkley feminist.

I was as free as a little school boy!

A gun toting school boy!

Best of all, this holster has a pocket for my cell phone.

So it was with a heavy heart that I packed away the shoulder holster that had been a part of my military deployment life for 10 years. But hey, change is good in a man’s life. I tried to rationalize this decision by thinking that with ten months left to go in this deployment, I’m sure I’ll revert back to my old standby when I become bored with this new holster.

Now when I walk the streets on the IZ, I have a new pep in my step; an added sense of freedom and vitality.

For those of you approaching a mid life crisis: Forget the Rogaine, get yourself a hip holster!

Best decision I’ve made since I got here!